But what happened?

I didn't know Ryan was on Facebook until Ray told me.

It shouldn't really be a big thing that he's there and I didn't know it, but it speaks to more than some simple slight. I haven't heard from Ryan in exactly two years, for what reason I do not know.

---

It was CIAA weekend 2007, and I was still getting adjusted to being in North Carolina. I picked up the phone and told Lindsay I was overdue for a visit, and she'd agreed. The trip to Charlotte was on.

While I was getting ready Friday, something told me maybe this wasn't the right time for a trip.I thought about calling Lindsay the next morning to cancel.

Then, Ryan called.

"Hey man, I'm staying at home for awhile," he told me.
"I just moved to North Carolina. Wow," I replied.
"How's it been?
"Actually, I'm supposed to be down there this weekend."
"Great. We should get up while you're here."

With that, there was no way in hell I'd be missing out on this trip. I packed up my car the next morning and headed down.

Ryan and I hadn't really spoken since the previous year, when a trip to New York to visit him sort of brought out a side of me I didn't often see. Maybe I really was jealous of his friendships with others, but I should've never aired his (and our) dirty laundry on the blog.

We caught up at a bar downtown -- where I was hanging with my FAMU peeps, too -- stealing away to an almost secluded balcony where we were able to finally hash some things out face to face. I never really understood why he was as hurt as he was, and he hadn't gotten a chance to really hear my side, but we left that all behind us on that balcony. The drinks continued to flow, Ryan and I mingled with the FAMU peeps, and we parted with plans to meet up before I headed back.

He called me the next morning to say hey, then I said I'd likely come back in the immediate future. After that weekend, I got a call from him saying he'd been thinking about getting back to New York. I told him it was a decision he'd have to make, but I didn't see where he'd been so unsuccessful since leaving the Big Apple behind. But he missed his friends there, so the move was bound to happen.

I haven't heard from him since.

---

My Lenten ritual is forcing me not to find him on Facebook, forcing me to not look for him and ask him why our friendship just ended. Maybe it's the love affair with New York that has him too busy. Maybe the Big Apple brought back memories of me that he didn't want to indulge in.

Either way, I sort of miss the best friend I didn't have long enough in my life...