What is there to be thankful for? (An open letter)

I should've been spending my first Thanksgiving with you.

Ok, you wouldn't have been here, but we should've been together. I would've called you to check in after all the food had been eaten, joke about how much you ate, then tell you how much I couldn't wait to see you when you returned from visiting the fam.

Instead, I'm spending it a single man. Bitter about the situation, but glad you finally let me go.

Or, rather, I let go of you.

In hindsight, I am thankful for you. I'm thankful for the hell you put me through. I'm thankful that I reached my limit with you. So that means next time, when I see the signs, I'll know what's ahead. I'll know what do to.

I'll know to be through.

I'm thankful for the many deep conversations I had with my mother about you. I'm glad we finally came to a new place in our being that I'm able to give myself back to her. For years I felt something was missing from our relationship. But that's no longer true.

And I owe it all to you.

I'm thankful to have loved you. Because for a long time, I wondered if I'd be able to love anyone the way I loved her. She had me out there looking at rings and things. But she ended it all, leaving me blue.

Then I met you.

I'm thankful I'm not you. You said you missed me when we last spoke, when you really missed the attention I gave. And the pipe I laid. And the way I played Captain Save a Hoe for you. He's not paying enough attention to you. He's not having sex with you. He said you're unstable, and when I heard that, I should've trusted it, too.

Never wanna be miserable like you.