I've been involved with someone who still has feelings for an ex. The ex is just that, but it sounds like he's working his way back into the fold. It puts me on the losing end of the battle, as we all know history always wins out.
I've gone back and forth about what I should be doing. Should I stick it out until there's some resolve? Or should I gracefully bow out, as I know there's someone out there who would put me first, as I would for them.
I thought I was close to a decision, but then Cocoa Rican hit a nerve:
On Blast
Is it more important to you to win at all costs or to lose sometimes, while maintaining your dignity?
I've never been a "give up" type of person, but the situation I'm in gives me pause because sometimes I feel like I'm the only one making sacrifices. I know I'm not in the toughest situation in the triangle, which has been my reason for not ending it earlier. I'm the new guy, I keep telling myself, and you've fallen for me. But is that enough for sustainment?
Then I think about leaving it all alone.
Sure, sometimes we must lose in order to gain ground in the long run, but this time doesn't feel like one of those times. At least from the words I hear.
Right now, I'm at a place where if I don't look back, I'll always wonder about what could've been. But if I stick around, I would continue to feed on the idea of an "us," which might never come.
What's a guy to do?
5 comments:
Why do you assume the ex will win out? Where is your confidence in yourself? Where is your swagger? (I know I have no room to talk, but we can look at other peoples situations better than our own)
Who does the guy want? He should know he clearly wants you. But if you want him then i guess you have to be cool, be patient, dont be a point of stress or pressure. and prepare yourself for the worse...
If there's no bad blood with the ex, why wouldn't the ex, who has a clear upper hand, be victorious? It's been three months since I attempted to stake my claim.
Oh, and I never said it was a guy in the middle of the triangle...
Have you two talked about your suspicions?
And where is your swagger Marlon? If they insist nothing is developing, but it doesn't appear that way, you may need to let it go. But not just yet.
The answer is so simple that you’re going to second-guess it when I tell you what it is…
What did your inner voice tell you to do when you realized the ex was back in the picture?
You see, we choose to ignore our REAL (core) self; the part of you put there to protect you from pain, harm, etc. In my life, every bad or uncomfortable event was preceded by my inner voice telling me to flee, run, leave, drop it, etc. and I’ve second-guessed it (sometimes with the best intentions) only to realize that my first impression and my core self was right all along.
I’m glad and sorry if my On Blast question forced you to think it through more thoroughly, but consider it a second-chance to make the right decision.
Good luck pa!
I think you should follow your heart. Like Kennonp, I'm not understanding why you think the ex will win out. Of course, I only have this small snippet of information to go on.
I will say this, love should not be a battle that you have to fight for, if should come freely to you. If this is love, then let love when out. If it ain't love, then it will only bring you heartache and steal your joy.
Only you can know for sure. Cocoa Spat out some new knowledge today. That boy be showing his ass, but he tells it from the heart.
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